We Already Are Who We’re Supposed To Be
I’m thrilled to be a co-author of The Parenting Odyssey: Trials, Treasures, and Triumphs of Parenting in a Pandemic, edited by Carol Muleta! We’re having a virtual book launch on December 1 and 2 at 8pm EST which is free to attend but please register here:
I’ll be in the Dec 2nd session and look forward to sharing the evening with these fine writers and mothers.
I’ll be moderating a discussion between two exciting and talented writers on Friday November 11th at 7pm EST! Grab a drink and join queer feminist horror writer and author of The Gold Persimmon Lindsay Merbaum and N. West Moss, author of the celebrated memoir Flesh And Blood, for a cocktail demo and real talk about writing and publishing! 11/19 at 7 pm EST
Mark your calendars, I’d love you to join us!
Here’s a short 8-question body image survey I’m doing that will help shape a new project and companion podcast. If you have thought about body image, body acceptance, and diet culture, or even if you haven’t, I would love your input. Please feel free to share widely and your answers can be anonymous if you choose. Thank you so much for lending your voice.
This week marks the 100th episode of And Then Everything Changed! Celebrated author of The Courage to Heal and advocate Laura Davis joins me to talk about reconciling with the mother who betrayed her and what the process of writing her memoir The Burning Light of Two Stars: A Mother-Daughter Story, about their relationship was like.
I started the podcast on Halloween of 2019 with my first guest, Paul who took a chance on a new show and a new host, and we created one of my favorite episodes to date. Since then, I’ve gotten to interview people in recovery, survivors, social justice leaders, and so many talented authors. On my website ATEC.com you can go check out and listen to my previous episodes, each categorized by topic, so you can listen to what moves you first.
When I was younger, like in my teens and 20s and maybe even some of my 30s, I thought that someday I would become the version of myself that would be better, happier, more worthy.
I was sure there was something missing from me that other people who seemed to have relationships figured out already had; that I needed to change myself if I wanted to finally be happy.
This can be a very tricky time. When we want to belong and to feel better about ourselves we might get the sense that other people know something we don’t. We can easily fall into relationships and groups that reinforce our sense of unworthiness. This is precisely how so many of us are susceptible to high control groups, manipulative people, and even cults. These groups or people often have something to give us: tools, a program, a system, a retreat, a way of eating, etc., that promise to unlock “wholeness” for us.
I got into bad relationships and was also tempted to get involved in groups a few times but I think my mother having joined a cult gave me just enough perspective to defend myself from this kind of coercion. But— I can see a parallel life where I continued to feel I wasn’t worthy of love and self-acceptance. Where I didn’t find my way.
What I’ve learned in interviewing scores of guests for my podcast, deepening my relationship with my mother, and writing my memoir When She Comes Back, is that we are worthy of love as we are. Yes, we can become more courageous, we can learn how to be vulnerable, we can become better listeners, better at knowing what we need, better writers, better friends, but, we came into the world perfectly ourselves. We already are okay.
Knowing that we are enough is the best, most peaceful feeling.
Thank you so much for being here.
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